In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate

In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate
Al-Quran (30:30)

So direct your face toward the religion, inclining to truth. [Adhere to] the fitrah of Allah upon which He has created [all] people. No change should there be in the creation of Allah. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know.

فَأَقِمْ وَجْهَكَ لِلدِّينِ حَنِيفًا فِطْرَةَ اللَّهِ الَّتِي فَطَرَ النَّاسَ عَلَيْهَا لَا تَبْدِيلَ لِخَلْقِ اللَّهِ ذَلِكَ الدِّينُ الْقَيِّمُ وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ
[Al-Imran 3:8] "[Who say], "Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestower."

Friday, January 25, 2008

Need or Have Motivation for School?

I've been going to school for about two weeks now and I'm already getting stressed! Which is totally pathetic. I'm causing my own stress because I'm being lazy. I'm really big on organization and well I can not do stuff without a plan. The thing is that I'm not quite done with my plan, I'm too lazy to do it. I had all this things I wanted to try new this semester and I have yet to try them. I have like no self-discipline seriously :I I get either distracted, tired, or bored (out of my mind)when I "open the books." When I get tired I’ll try to stay awake by distracting myself from sleep and that just makes me more distracted and then I get sleep deprived. So anyways, I need to take my own advice and look at my link for studying tips which is really helpful. I need some MOTIVATION. Maybe I should make a trip to a Medical school or hang around with some professionals (lol yeah right). Its just like I said in my previous post, sometimes I feel so far away from my destination that I feel like I don’t care anymore because I’m not really looking forward to all the hardships, stress that accompanies it. I wonder if any of you feel that way. sorry guys for being so pessimistic and probably making you all feel like that. Even my blog is suffering because of my pessimism. It was not my intention to make it soooo boring. School has scarred my life and traumatized me lol. School is not about learning anymore its turned into a business corporation designed to make you feel that life is sour. This is so engraved into my thinking that when I screw up in school I automatically feel like a failure and it effects me the whole day. I recognize this is a really stupid way to analyze life and as a Muslim I need not to be like that and recognize that this life is only temporary and should not desire this life more than the next. To be a Good Muslim overall I need to have virtue and lack of self-discipline (a virtue) is not a characteristic of a Muslim. So that just makes me feel worse. Ok well I’ll end this post with a BIG SMILE and I'll go take a nap for the reason that I only slept about three hours max. Next post will be cool an interestin inshallah :D


Wednesday, January 23, 2008

My revaluation.

Lately, I have been distracted with much contemplation revaluating my priorities and my Iman. I want to be a better musim, a better daughter, sister, friend, and a student but I always fall short and this reality really depresses me. I wonder what my priorities are in reality since obviously I am not any of those things. Which is why I decided to revaluate my priorities. I feel like this empty piece of flesh just going along for the ride called life. Maybe I'm just emotional right now or something but I really feel like I'm not going anywhere as if I was running in the same position and place. I just pray to God that he sees my desires in my heart and helps me overcome anytype of fear or self-rejection that I may have that is preventing me from fullfiling my desires in this dunya (world)

Monday, January 21, 2008

Mission failed: to be productive :(((((

Assalam Alay kum

So I was supposed to actually have my Blog done by Today but ended up getting distracted like always. I was not even supposed to be writing about this. Today there was no school because it was a holiday, Martin Luther King Jr's Day and so decided to just chill and lie down and breathe practically. I was bed potato. I just stared at my books beside me and I have yet to pick them up and study them it almost 9 pm! For some reason I find it rather difficult to write about me for my profile descriptions. I don't want it to be an ordinary "about me" description that is totally contradicting to how I am. I want it to sound totally like me. For example if this "about me" description was a flyer, people would be able to identify it was me. I know that was kind of random but yeah thats how I want it. Inshallah its a masterpiece at the end. lol. J/K. Although I was not planning to make it fake description. lol. Inshallah I get to finish this blog by the end of this week and with some educational links and stuff like that on here. Its going to be cool inshallah once I learn how to do this stuff here. I have a Diary online (live journal)which I keep contact with one of my friends but have not really been active on it ever since I made it. lol because its not as cool as this blog stuff and not as complicated. So inshallah I'll try to be active on my blog and I believe I will because i totally love to write about random stuff and share it. I'm not really into that myspace stuff or do I desire to have one so this is a real exciting. It will keep me entertained during these cold winter days. I'm so excited because it will be like my own website you know... Pretty exciting. Yey. So anyways I'll get up from my bed and do something productive now that the day is about to be over. Gosh, I feel like a total looser. Whatever. I'll convince myself that me being lazy today was totally worth it because It made me "reflect." Yeah about me being lazy. lol. Ok wells thats it.