I have came across a lot of people that although they claim they “love” Islam and want to be a Muslim have issues with declaring it and its nothing but the whispers of Shaytan threatening them with insignificant things of this world that have no magnitude to the real purpose of Life by exaggerating its “consequences.” Everyone will have trials no doubt but the trials that hurt most are those that loosen the grip on one’s deen.
For some time now I have had a very sour and acidy feeling in the pit of my stomach due to all the stress I have been subjected as of late and I feel that anything can break me right now but sA this weekend proved to be a success and helped me put things in perspective again. The Quran is the only reassurance of how our trials are so intangible to our real goal and our only manual on how to surmount them sA its truly a mercy from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
I spent this weekend studying Surah Al-Khaf. Every Aayah is a miracle sA! In every ayah there are lessons and wisdom. It made me realize how important it is for me to learn Arabic. I feel like a looser! I felt so shamed on how easily I lose hope, when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has promised us he would not abandon his servants. Are we doubtful of Allah's (swt) promise because we are so attached to this world or what?! I don’t know I wish I could look into my heart because not even I know what’s in it. I sometimes fear that I might be a munafiq and not even know it and that I only strive to live up to this ideal not necessarily for the sake of Allah (swt). I feel crappy now. I need to check my intentions more often and I don’t ( I check my email more than my sincerity and intentions)ugggh…
So anyways, when I arrived home last night I found my plant dying and all shriveled up ( represents "Me") and I rushed to water it. It was a really a sad sight I felt so horrible. When I woke up today in the morning, I rushed to go check up on it and it was all “happy” again. sA! Truly these are signs from Allah (swt) for those that ponder. I recognized the analogy and it’s..... AMAZING!!!
[2:164]Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and earth, and the alternation of the night and the day, and the [great] ships which sail through the sea with that which benefits people, and what Allah has sent down from the heavens of rain, giving life thereby to the earth after its lifelessness and dispersing therein every [kind of] moving creature, and [His] directing of the winds and the clouds controlled between the heaven and the earth are signs for a people who use reason.
My cute little plant :D