This is my fourth Ramadan but the first in which I can actually savor its sweetness no kidding. I feel like a kid in candy store not knowing where to start. There is so much I want to do to "cash" in on these rewards and the barakah of this special month ! I think for the first time I finally get it! Before, I just felt lethargic and at the end of Ramadan all I experienced I'm afraid, was only hunger :(
I feel so at ease and at peace with myself. I don't even have energy to stress or even talk for that matter (which is always a good thing since it gets me into trouble anyways-now if I could channel that into my fingers and not type as much either :s ). So I am totally enjoying the serenity right now and I love it!
The other day while talking to Mama I told her of how tranquil I felt and how fasting makes one much more thankful and appreciative towards our creator. So my mama says "I will have to try that out someday," which I did not expect at all. My past Ramadans, she has been very complacent about them and would help me wake up for suhoor. All at the same time she is not very fond of Ramadan just as many of those without conviction. They find it ridiculous to fast for that amount of days because they don’t understand the concept of attaining reward or seeking nearness to God or seeking his pleasure.
Well I can't wait for Eid... I'm saving up to get presents for family and friends. Uggh so much to do! Family!, Ramadan, Eid, moving, School, Work! My ARABIC -_- and memorizing all my organic chemistry reactions again! Keep in mind I have to do all this during Ramadan! and THEN ITS DHUL-HIJJAH! (can't wait yeeey :D insha'Allah!
* update: 8/25/10 Just found an article on MuslimMatters that talked about what I just did on my post... so cool, apparently I am not crazy! :D