When I am alone and sad the only thing I feel in my heart is my desire to meet my Lord so why would I struggle for this world that has given me nothing in return but pain? I do have a lot of aspirations but they have changed I have new ones that are far more beneficial than learning how to flamenco dance for instance. I want to feel bitter by how the world has treated me but in actuality it has treated me better than most of its inhabitants. My duty is to safeguard my heart, my iman (faith) and Allah will be my protector, my support. So even if many take me as alone, I am not.
Its hard to deny this world that you were and are socialized to pursue and turn away once in a while from loved ones to save your dignity as a Muslim to then face denial from other Muslims and the community. I have been training myself not to care anymore and keep my iman (faith) intact. Right now I am just keeping away from what harms my heart and striving for the hereafter in the best way I can, just trying to be consistent. I pray my future has Islam and my trials feel like caresses from my Lord.