In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate

In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate
Al-Quran (30:30)

So direct your face toward the religion, inclining to truth. [Adhere to] the fitrah of Allah upon which He has created [all] people. No change should there be in the creation of Allah. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know.

فَأَقِمْ وَجْهَكَ لِلدِّينِ حَنِيفًا فِطْرَةَ اللَّهِ الَّتِي فَطَرَ النَّاسَ عَلَيْهَا لَا تَبْدِيلَ لِخَلْقِ اللَّهِ ذَلِكَ الدِّينُ الْقَيِّمُ وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ
[Al-Imran 3:8] "[Who say], "Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestower."

Monday, October 3, 2011

Thoughts of my past and future.

Today I thought about my youth and how its passing me by. Before I was Muslim I had so many aspirations and wanted to do so many things. I realized today that I was supposed to have accomplished many things by now but have not. Everything has been set back or forgotten. I feel saddened about it and a failure. The more I think about how I am a failure the more I realize that I am a true failure if I measure my success with the ideals of this world outside the scope of the purpose of my life, my faith.

When I am alone and sad the only thing I feel in my heart is my desire to meet my Lord so why would I struggle for this world that has given me nothing in return but pain? I do have a lot of aspirations but they have changed I have new ones that are far more beneficial than learning how to flamenco dance for instance. I want to feel bitter by how the world has treated me but in actuality it has treated me better than most of its inhabitants. My duty is to safeguard my heart, my iman (faith) and Allah will be my protector, my support. So even if many take me as alone, I am  not.

Its hard to deny this world that you were and are socialized to pursue and  turn away once in a while from loved ones to save your dignity as a Muslim to then face denial from other Muslims and the community. I have been training myself not to care anymore and keep my iman (faith) intact. Right now I am just keeping away from what harms my heart and striving for the hereafter in the best way I can, just trying to be consistent. I pray my future has Islam and my trials feel like caresses from my Lord.