In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate

In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate
Al-Quran (30:30)

So direct your face toward the religion, inclining to truth. [Adhere to] the fitrah of Allah upon which He has created [all] people. No change should there be in the creation of Allah. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know.

فَأَقِمْ وَجْهَكَ لِلدِّينِ حَنِيفًا فِطْرَةَ اللَّهِ الَّتِي فَطَرَ النَّاسَ عَلَيْهَا لَا تَبْدِيلَ لِخَلْقِ اللَّهِ ذَلِكَ الدِّينُ الْقَيِّمُ وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ
[Al-Imran 3:8] "[Who say], "Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestower."


Sunday, November 25, 2012

The Silliest People, the fools


Fudayl ibn `Iyyaad (rahimahullaah) said:
“Any evil doer can think he is a good person, the ignorant can think of himself as a scholar, the greedy thinks of himself generous, the stupid thinks of himself as intelligent. Life is short and hopes are unlimited, yet many are too dazzled with themselves to see a clear picture for advancement.” 
Adh-Dhahabee (rahimahullaah) commented: “I swear by Allah that Fudayl is right. One is also unjust, yet believes he is the oppressed, eats unlawfully and thinks himself pious, a sinner and thinks himself honest, and seeks knowledge but hasn’t even learned to implement it to his family.” Sifaatus-Sawfah 8/440.
May Allah protect us from being such and we seek refuge in Allah from such people. Ameen. I love these two quotes as they both work as an iman "litmus paper." I usually find that those who ask why trials afflict them are those that believe they are good and do not deserve them. Its only those who believe they are good that are bad. Subhana'Allah, I have to remind myself not to be as such. Allah is so merciful that he really does not give us what we REALLY deserve. If that was so we would all be destroyed. We should ask Allah the most merciful, for his mercy and for his blessings as we are not deserving of such. We can not even thank Allah enough and we can not until we REALIZE that we can not thank Allah enough. ONLY then will we be truly thankful. Anyhow that is all I wanted to share. May we reflect and benefit.

An Awkward Smile

We MUST remind and remember that our purpose in this life is not to please or fulfill our dreams. It is to worship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Patience is so difficult but when we remember the real treasure of this life is the happiness that is achieved by being an obedient slave to Allah, it makes patience seem obvious. I rarely talk about my life and the difficulties that I deal with being a revert because in truth it has nothing to do with me being a revert but being human and a believer. I have the same trials a non revert would have.  Right now I am very hurt and my eyes have been moist since. I feel so sad that I don't even know how it will go away. Maybe time will distract me and when something better comes along. All I can do is fear Allah and persist in living and increasing my good deeds. Afterall, jannah is more everlasting than this world. I so want to feel bitter and if I were to ever speak of what I feel bitter from I would be the worst of human beings.

A lot of my trials have come from me trying to protect my Deen which is my heart. I am in the place I am in because I want to practice my deen and it subhana'Allah is the most lonelinest place on earth it seems. I am devalued because of it. I have been humiliated a lot and it hurts so bad. The worst aspect of this all is that sometimes I think my trials are due to my sins making me feel worse about my situation. Regardless of all this sadness, I have Allah, I am a muslim and I am still alive to continue to increase in good so that when I meet Allah I meet him with the best. I can't imagine undergoing all these trials without Islam. Being muslim makes me happy even if it can only spark an awkward smile. May Allah give me the fortitude to be patient and motivation to strive to get closer to him ameen.

I came across this beautiful quote and I hope to share it so that we find in it ourselves.

Imaam Abu’l-Faraj ‘AbdurRahmaan Ibn Al-Jawzee:
"How excellent are the people who have abandoned sweet dreams, with drawing from that for which they erected their feet for. Standing up to fatigue themselves in the dark, seeking a portion of the blessing. When the night comes they stay up, and when the day arrives they derive lessons from it. When they look at their faults they seek forgiveness, and when they think about their sins they cry and feel dejected. O dwellings of the beloved, where are your inhabitants? O places of sincerity, where are your residents? O spots of the pious, where are your people? O places of nightly prayer, where are your visitors? I have, by Allah, traveled around and found these people extinct. Those who used to stay awake at night have gone away and the lovers of sleep are left. These times have sought eating of lusts to replace fasting.”[al-Yawaqit al-Jawzeeyya, p.28-29]

Thursday, November 15, 2012

A Happy Person Fears Allah

What a beautiful quote below.

Imam Ibnul Qayyim (may Allah have mercy upon him) stated: There is nothing more beneficial for the Muslim than abiding by the orders (of Allah), even if this initially brings about some difficulty. This is because its (obedience to Allah's orders) outcomes are all good, happiness, delight and joy, even if the person's desires (originally) disliked adherence. (Al-Fawaa`id)

When we have good intentions and solely try to find good because we know only good comes from it, this will only reap good. During the whole ordeal, to reach such a state is difficult but Allah subhanahu wa ta ala is so merciful that he guides our hearts towards tranquility. This life is so transient and I forget this FACT  often and as a result the monotonousness of this life takes a toll in my heart. It's sourness and weight makes me feel as if I am sinking into a suffocating darkness. The worst aspect of this all is that All praise is due to Allah, I have the LUXURY to even complain of such an easy life.

I sleep soundly every night not having to worry about any harm that may afflict me other than that of my own sins and trials of the heart. So easy subhana'Allah while people are being tested with more harsh trials all around the world. Regardless of this reality, I still find myself struggling to do much good, to BE better. Seems so much easier to give into our desires, neglect our iman and block our consciousness that Allah is all watching and all knowing. The most beautiful days I have are the days in which I am most spiritually productive. When the only melody that played in my heart was Qur'an and was strengthened with many prostrations. So beautiful. These are the days I am most happy and my happiness almost feels tactile. Why don't I do it more often? I don't know.

When I submit to Allah, nothing else matters and I feel happy! I feel so happy that I begin to feel sad because it reminds me of so many that dont know this happiness that comes with Islam.

This happiness is the end result of submitting to Allah. It our purpose in life so it is only makes sense for us to feel tranquility when we do. Ironically, we neglect it and it is the most difficult trial to do in this life, to submit. Currently I find it very difficult for myself to submit to the will of Allah and trust that Allah knows best. BUT when we do it is liberating and we feel joy. To me this is true happiness. A happy person can only be a person that fears and loves Allah therefore we should seek the guidance of Allah to lead us to be such individuals. May Allah make it easy for all of us Ameen.

Yesterday while contemplating some things in my life I realized many things. I want good and if I want it, I must seek it while doing good. We can not expect Allah to bless us with good if while doing so we do not do good. While at the same time we have to be patient and trust that Allah knows what is best. In islam, the end does not justify the means. The means (that asbab) must be good too. I leave this post now with this beautiful ayah so there is NEVER a reason to despair.

[3:9] "Indeed, Allah does not fail in his promise."

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Who is the believer among you?

I find myself quite often contemplating about my iman. I dont know when my iman is high but I DO know when my iman is low. However it is the in the times in which my iman is low that I find motivation to overcome it. I hate these phases but after each of these low iman episodes I come out with a stronger iman. Let me illustrate; having to constantly battle the whispers of shaytan sort of builds your "iman portfolio." The next time around you are more prepared and know from where he will try to attack. You have to prepare yourself for these battles. I know it sounds schizophrenic and weird but be advised. If one does not have the proper foundation (aqeedah) then know you will lose. Having low iman does not mean that you don't have belief, all it means is that ONE needs motivation, we are human. These whispers sometimes come disguised as your thoughts and it can make one question whether they are believers or munafiqs which is where I find myself quite often.  We just have to keep seeking knowledge, LEARN LEARN LEARN and busy ourselves with seeking it.
Its important to give ourselves relief by learning of what a believer is. I know for me that this hadith made me extremely happy. Hope this is a relief for you all. 


The Prophet sallahu allayhi wa salam said, “Whoever rejoices with his good deeds and grieves over his evil deeds, then that is the believer among you.” - [Sunan Tirmidhee (2165) and graded as “Saheeh” by Shaikh al-Albaanee] 
"So if you see within yourself that your chest expands with obedience and constricts with sins, then this is a glad tiding for you, that you are from the believing slaves of Allaah and from His pious Auliyaa’. That is why the Prophet sallahu allayhi wa salam said, “and coolness (comfort) of my eyes has been provided in prayer” [Sunan al-Nasaa’ee (3939, 3940) and graded as “Saheeh” by Shaikh al-Albaanee]  
-The Auliya of Allah-from Riyaadh Al Saliheen
Excerpt by http://foodiefahoodie.blogspot.com/2012/10/brief-comments-on-riyaadh-al-saaliheen_27.html
STILL... DON'T think much of yourself or think you are "safe." The way of the salaf was that they were in constant fear of being hypocrites and not doing enough. Always rushing towards doing good deeds, competing with one another in good. Umar Al-Khattab (radi Allahu anhu) was one to be recognized of being as such.  Its a good thing to contemplate about our iman and seek to improve it always. I hope that this will be a reminder to give some relief to those who feel wounded by these schizo-shaytan battles... May Allah make it easy on all of you who seek nearness to him. Allahumma ameen.

It is reported that Al-Hasan Al-Basrî – Allâh have mercy on him – said:The believer does the best deeds yet is most fearful [that his deeds will not be accepted]. If he were to spend a mountain of wealth [in charity], he would not feel sure [of the reward] until he sees it. The more righteous and pious he becomes, the more he fears. But the hypocrite (munâfiq) says, ‘There are so many people, I will be forgiven, no problem.’ So he does wrong and evil deeds, yet holds foolish wishes about Allâh. 
Al-Dhahabî,Siyar A’lâm Al-Nubalâ` 4:586.
Source: http://www.sayingsofthesalaf.net/index.php/righteous-fear-vs-sinful-delusion/#ixzz2AWtG8kK5

Monday, October 29, 2012

Will the heavens and earth weep for you?

Ibn Jareer recorded that Sa`eed bin Jubayr said, "A man came to Ibn `Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, and said to him: ‘O Abaa al-`Abbaas, Allaah says, "{And the heavens and the earth wept not for them, nor were they given respite.} [ad-Dukhaan 44:29]" ‘Do the heavens and the earth weep for anybody?’ 

He, may Allah be pleased with him, said, ‘Yes, there is no one who does not have a gate in the heavens through which his provision comes down and his good deeds ascend. When the believer dies, that gate is closed; it misses him and weeps for him, and the place of prayer on earth where he used to pray and remember Allaah also weeps for him. 

But the people of Fir`awn left no trace of righteousness on the earth and they had no good deeds that ascended to Allaah, so the heavens and the earth did not weep for them.’”Al-`Awfi reported something similar from Ibn `Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him.Extracted from Tafseer Ibn Katheer

http://www.notebookofbenefits.com/2012/10/will-heavens-and-earth-weep-for-you.html

Saturday, October 27, 2012

The Effects of a Pleasant Smile

Regarding the hadeeth where the Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Do not look down on any act of kindness, even if it is just meeting your brother with a pleasant smile on your face.” [Sahih Muslim]

Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: “A pleasant smile causes people to become happy, wins over their love and affection, and leads to both parties having good thoughts of each other. Just try it and you will see.However, were you to frown upon the people, they would stay away from you and not feel comfortable sitting with you nor talking to you. 
You may even become afflicted with a dangerous condition: high blood pressure. Having a tranquil chest and a pleasant smile is the most wholesome remedy and the best preventative measure for this condition. For this reason, physicians advice people who have this condition to stay away from what disturbs and angers them, since those things only agitate this condition.
A pleasant smile actually has a remedial effect on this condition, since it leads to a tranquil chest, and it causes others to love you.”

[Taken from: “Upright Moral Character”, by Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, p. 49]
http://fruitsofilm.wordpress.com/2012/10/27/the-effects-of-a-pleasant-smile

Monday, October 22, 2012

Two Blessings...

Ibn Abbas narrated that Prophet Mohammad (Sallalaahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said:“There are two blessings which many people lose: (They are) health and free time for doing good.”(Bukhari 8/421)

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Ibn al Qayyim: The Two Greatest Things We Waste


Last night as I climbed into bed I felt the weight of remorse on my heart on how I expended my day. Whatever takes us away from the remembrance of Allah (subhanahu wa ta ala) is harmful to our hearts, soul and time.  I came across this profound quote from Ibn Al-Qayyim (as expected).

I believe the reason I waste so much time and my blessing towards what will not benefit me is due to having too much hope. I suppose that I believe I have my day guaranteed tomorrow and the mercy of Allah on the day of Judgment. The way I use my time also illustrates how I prefer this world more than the hereafter. Its such illogical way of thinking. I don’t want to think that way and I don’t consider myself to be such an individual but apparently I am. May Allah guide me and give me the fortitude to do the deeds that will earn me his pleasure.

Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “The greatest of these things we waste are two, upon which are founded all other wasted things: the waste of the heart, and the waste of time. Wasting of the heart is to prefer the world over the Hereafter; and wasting of time is to have too much hope. Every corruption is found in the following of desires and having too much hope; and every benefit is found in the following of the guidance and preparing for the meeting with Allah; and Allah’s help is sought.”
[Al-Fawaa’id, ashrah la yantaf’i biha]


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Pondering about our purpose of life


It’s depressing that a large portion of my day is spent on working. It is such a waste of life especially if it takes me away from the things that I love like going to visit family, gaining knowledge, reading, devoting more time for worship and things Islamic. It is difficult  to be passionate about anything else and since at the moment I am applying to graduate school I don’t know even know how to decorate my application with a “flowery” testimony of my passion for whatever I want to study. I feel like an empty shell. Don’t know how to describe the feeling. The reason being, ultimately my purpose in life is not to attain a certain career position. All of this stuff is only a means. My real purpose is to worship Allah. Yes, it’s that simple. Many “Muslims” don’t like to realize that and even if some do testify to this, deep inside they feel otherwise. The reason being again is because they have been influenced by a narcissistic world. That to acknowledge that we are at the disposal of our Creator and something simple as doing sujud (prayer-prostration) can be humiliating.

Yes, our purpose in life is to worship Allah! And for me this makes life so much easier. I must remind myself constantly because this life easily consumes me.  Wish everyone knew this and would stop putting a facade that all this junk is so important. I attended a seminar today. Subhana’Allah some people get so hard core into these things that it comes as a shock to me everyday. Masha’Allah they have much knowledge but not sure how much it will benefit them when it WILL really matter, the Day of Judgment. Does no one care about their souls?

Anyways, so today I hung out with my cousin and I don’t remember what I said that she responded that life is great and all worth it. My mother says something similar to that too, “la vida es tan rica (this life is so great).” To which I find it odd to have such feelings towards it. When we tell others how we aught to be grateful to Allah for our lives, the same people feel that there is nothing to be grateful about in their lives yet those people would do anything to stay alive. This life can only be great when we switch our perspective that this life is our currency for the hereafter. Even if one thought this life is about enjoying one self and seeking pleasure I don’t see how it’s enough to overlook the reality of life and its trials. In addition this life is cheap compared to what our Creator has in store for his righteous believers.

While looking at my agenda today I also realized how there seems to be no barakah in my time. Don’t know how to feel about that. I become depressed at the thought that perhaps because I am not beloved to Allah or due to the condition of my heart or my sins I have no barakah, I lose hope. I don’t like to dwell on such feelings as it makes me less spiritually productive due to feeling hopeless in attaining Allah’s pleasure.

I'm tired, going to bed now, got to wake up early for work and then come back home to sleep early to wake up early to work the next day. What a life Subhana’Allah!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

My Little Sick Heart

I feel as if my iman is always low subhana'Allah. The worst trial is a trial in one's faith. Most of the time I can feel when my heart is going to be ill. Like a physical illness I also get symptoms. Think of it like a cold, you can sense cold with the onset of a scratchy throat and achy body. The same applies to how I feel when my heart is going to be sick.  I am more distracted in my salah, I socialize more and do not preoccupy myself with gaining knowledge. I realized again and I MUST remind myself constantly that in order to maintain my iman I must be DILIGENT and PLAN! That was why Ramadans are so spiritually productive for many Muslims.

Currently trying to finish reading the seerah of the prophet (sallahu allayhi wa salam), The Sealed Nectar (Ar-Raheequl-Makhtum) before I move onto something else. I want to delve as deep as I can and reflect on the lessons that can be derived from his seerah. Being that I am heart sick from superficial things about life at the moment, the seerah of rasulullah (sallahu allayhi wa salam) has subjected me to scrutinize my perspective on my trials as minute as a warm breeze on a summer day. They are not terrible and neither do they harm me. A warm breeze can be delightful yet does not change the condition. So I should in no way feel "bitter" or go on a "life is hard because I am convert" rant. I feel immensely stupid. I should humble myself and just do what I can with my life and just wait for the bounty of my Lord. My trials are nothing like that of the early converts to Islam.

In testament of that, today was an awkward day at work. One of my coworkers "randomly" starts to comment how religion is the fountain of vice and wars and such. Then he says how God is everything good that is what God is and not how religion defines it. I laughed to myself and finished his quote with "said fulan (his name)." I am so tired of this... I dont even know why they feel they have a right to annoy me. I've thought of complaining but why would another kafir care anyways. Again I reflected on the seerah and how the mushrik went to great lengths just to annoy the believers and mock them. I mean subhana'Allah these kafirs go through so much efforts to annoy me sometimes its entertaining. These moments reaffirm to me that despite having an ill heart, it is not yet sealed. I feel the iman in my heart and dont desire to compromise my beliefs to appease to them like they do in order to disguise their wavering faith and lack of truth.

The sweetness of faith makes this life bearable. Its like a cool breeze on a hot summer day. Delightful and gives relief. I love Allah (azza wa jal) and  I love Rasulullah (sallahu allayhi wa salam) and I love my religion of Islam! I feel so happy right now! May Allah guide me and forgive me.

Astaghfirullaha wa atoobu ilayhi (I seek the forgiveness of Allah and repent to him)

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Feeling Bitter

Sometimes I feel that being a convert is an excuse for me to feel a bit bitter about life.  This is a very dangerous path to tread on. I first started to blog because I wanted to express that what makes me truly happy is Islam despite what everyone advertises. It is not common to hear other Muslims express joy from being Muslim. Instead we often hear Muslims being apologetic and trying conform with the kuffar. Its annoying!

Its difficult to deal with things that accompany  embracing Islam and entering the true Religion of Allah! That is expected! Life is hard period! The only difference is that a Muslim knows the reality of this life and its purpose while others don't. Those are as they appear; distracted. With their earphones  trying arduously to block out reality and flood their minds with noise in order not to face it.  The other day I thought of how I supposedly have not got much relief from my "trials." I only express this to show how disgusting it is to think this way and perhaps will deter someone from doing so.

I caught myself and Alhamdulillah began to ponder how disgusting it was to think this way; being ungrateful and thinking I know what is best for me than Allah. I feel as if at any moment Allah will destroy me for thinking such. I fear that my heart may be becoming sealed and there are so many clues to that being the case. If there is anything I HATE it is returning to kufr.

In addition, being a convert weighs heavily when I think about my future. Its difficult to envision anything when I see the obstacles now and don't know how to surmount them all on my own. So it only causes me to be a bit pessimistic and bitter. I should not be feeling bitter if I know this world is not lasting and my goal is jannah! What is it with me? I need to stop looking at how kafirs and munafiqs got it made in this life but not me. Honestly I got a very easy life and even if I did not I should not measure their dunya success with REAL SUCCESS, ISLAM!  This is a "I wish  I was dust" moment! I write this because I want to have this conversation with myself and reflect upon true success and to encourage myself to continue to strive to be beloved to Allah.I feel so defeated and my heart feels shattered for being such a loser! I hate myself for being so heedless. Life is hard and will always be. WE ALL just need to remain hopeful in Allah's mercy, fear his anger and strive for his pleasure. That is what life is all about, A GOOD LIFE THAT IS! 

Monday, September 17, 2012

Advice from Sheikh Fawzan regarding blasphemous film

Published on 16 Sep 2012 by DaarusSunnahShaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan – Translated by Raha Batts

Question: “O Eminent Shaykh, may Allah grant you Tawfeeq, there are many questions as to what is your advice to the students of knowledge and other than them regarding that which has happened recently regarding the derogatory film about the Prophet, what is the advice of your Eminence regarding that?”

Answer: Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan [Hafidhahullah]: "Our advice regarding that is to have comportment and not to show disapproval in this manner; demonstrations or harming innocent people, and wasting wealth, this is not permissible. Those who must respond to this are the scholars, not the common folk. The scholars respond to these affairs. They (i.e. the Kuffaar) want to cause chaos amongst us and they wish to affect us; this is what they want. They want us to fight one another. The soldiers withold while these people attack; and there occurs beating, killing, and injury. This is what they want. Calm down, calm down. Those who are responsible for responding are the people of knowledge and insight. Or they could chose not to respond to them and resolve not to respond. The pagans used to call the Messenger a magician, a soothysayer, a liar etc. and Allaah commanded him to have patience. They did not protest in Makkah nor did they destroy any of the homes of the pagans nor did they kill anyone. Patience and comportment until Allaah the Glorified and High facilitates a way for the Muslims.

That which is obligatory is to have comportment; especially in these times and in these tribulations and within this evil today which is going on within the lands of the Muslims.  It is obligatory to have comportment and not rush into these affairs; and the commoners are not fit to deal with this, for the ignorant do not know. None should deal with this except the people of knowledge and insight.”

Translated By: Raha Batts [Hafidhahullah].http://mtws.posterous.com/shaykh-fawzaans-comments-on-the-recent-deroga

Sunday, September 16, 2012

The Cause of Humiliation

It is so important for me to be self sufficient right now. I hate thinking of my reality and my inability to be completely independent. I wonder at times whether it is a reality I have created for myself due to not trying my best, a trial or even a punishment. Yesterday, I felt totally humiliated! I mean, being in this state sort of calls for many moments of  humiliation. It comes with the package of being dependent I suppose. Anyways, I reflected on it and I realized that in this world if we are dependent it causes us much humiliation but when we are dependent upon Allah we become self-sufficient and as a result we become independent from others and spares us much humilation. Which brings me to the topic of  Tawakkul. A person that has tawakkul is one that has good manners with Allah. That is, they think well of Allah and know his greatness.

When we seek the provision of Allah ironically, we do so by disobeying him. Its is the strangest thing! For me, I hate having to compromise my modesty in order not to "offend" anyone. It makes me feel so horrible. I hate having to wear pants, I hate having to shorten my hijab, I hate having to sit among people that all they do is talk about television trash. I hate the mindless dunya talk. Subhana'Allah I hate it all! Yet I have to allow it to exist in my world because I do not have to means to avoid it. With the little dunya garbage I knew I participated in order not to seem prude. It was painful. Felt like the worse munafiq! I hate it so much! Pretty much that sums up what yesterday consisted of. It left my heart and soul feeling wounded and woke up with a heart-burn like feeling this morning. If I had tawwakkul then perhaps I would not resort to having to believe I do not have the means to avoid it.

It is unbelievable how people CAN take pleasure in compromising their deen. They even see it as an excuse to commit MORE haram because they can not "escape" it allegedly. I HATE in my heart and with all my body so much! For example, many reason that "Islamic nasheeds (even those that have instruments) are permissible because it is a "better" alternative to the other material out there. Or That Islamic Nasheeds are good because they remind people of Allah. Yeah sure they do! They remind them how to disobey Allah in the most insulting of manners!

To conclude, one who disregards Allah will experience the worse of humiliation! Not only in this life but in the next! When one compromises their Deen and does not know or believe in the Greatness of Allah they  have only set themselves to be humiliated. I hope that Allah takes me away from this situation soon and in the meantime I have to STRIVE to get out of the situation and change it! We must also hate it in our hearts! How can we expect the grace of Allah if we love what he hates? I dont know whether I should feel safe from my heart become sealed because at least I hate it. I shall spend today on rehabilitation mode uggh!


Boredom and its consequences

Ramadan left a sweet memory that I have been striving to re-experience with consistency and love.  I loved the melody of silence in my heart and mind. I loved the stillness of time when fasting. I loved the echo of my heart in my duas (supplications) and the intimacy of the night while in prayer. It was such a beautiful feeling I have never felt before in my life. I would hate if I never experience it again and it was my only time I will ever have such a personal Ramadan. I don’t know what awaits me in the next year or if I will exist on this earth then!

Unfortunately, I feel noise slowly introducing itself to my peace which has had an impact on my khushoo and subsequently my life. I feels the effects of it physically, on my emotions and mental clarity. I have been thinking much of my time and trying to preoccupy myself with things that DO concern me and benefit me.

The Key I have found out is to AVOID being "BORED." The other day I was “bored” and “googled” something that apparently is the new trend that I did not know much about. I had not checked it out sooner as I honestly did not have the time to care enough to remember to. It ended up costing me 3 days of unproductivity! The lack of peace in my mind due to a mass collection of things that DO NOT concern me caused my  khushoo and the quality of my salah to suffer.  My sleep obviously was affected and my fajr prayer became poor.  The guilt made me depressed and I soon embarked a horrible cycle of guilt, unproductivity, low iman, depression and boredom!

Its only now that before I go to bed that I began to reflect that I know how to stop this cycle. That is to busy oneself with things that DO concern one and AVOID BOREDOM! NO ONE can afford to be bored!

HOW can I be bored?! Only a Kafir gets bored, only one who does not believe in the last day gets bored. Only one who does not want jannah gets bored! Subhana’Allah. Often times we confuse relaxation with entailing the wasting of time. Once we allow our minds to become idle, that is to be filled with things that DO NOT concern us, it is then we open the doors to Shaytan, our destruction.  What concerns us is Islam! What concerns us is how to earn Jannah and please our Creator! Everything is so trivial and such an easy trial to surmount if we were and are objective of our purpose!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Post Ramadan-short reflection

I have to say after Ramadan, I have developed higher standards for my Iman and the status of my heart. I know what to aim for and constantly remind myself that dunya is not my goal. I also have to remind myself that Allah is in control and he knows what is best for me and Allah is greater than anything. Lots of things have tried to creep into my heart which really scares me. I fear that I might have some nifaq in me or something and that its going to emerge later. May Allah guide me. This dunya really stresses me out in ways it really should not if I was truly a believer.

As a result, I have decided to avoid facebook altogether... Not sure when I will get back on it, I hope never! I am so over it now. I really cherished and took advantage of my time during ramadan without it. It has been awhile since I have abandoned watching TV and that is that I would only enjoy watching cooking and nature shows but even those waste my time and that is something I dont have the luxury of doing. So facebook was the last addiction I had and I have manage to avoid it and dont desire it... for now.  May Allah give me something better Ameen.

I mean, I really dislike facebook. I shall rant on it a bit (and waste time -_-).  I am not trying to belittle reminders since reminders benefit believers but I rather try to finish my readings than learn things sporadically. I end up wasting more time instead of benefiting at the end of my "facebook sessions." I just dont care to validate other people by liking their statuses or comments or do I need to feel validated by people liking my comments or statuses. I am sure none of our intentions, those who post religious stuff on their statuses, expect reward from people or want to appear more religious. I just like to share stuff, do dawah and keep in touch with some sisters (it makes me happy-yey for sisterhood). Maybe I am just stressed which is not far fetched. I just want to be serious now for some reason. I dont want to waste time. I just can't. I moved in this weekend to my new place and I really love it Alhamdulillah. I feel so at peace. I got to spend time with my family and that surely refreshed me... but then again the plague of kufr is sort of difficult to overlook. Kinda ruins my sleep.


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Perhaps You Will Kill Yourself in Grief...


MAY WE ALL BENEFIT FROM THIS!

[Ash-Shu'ara 26:1-5] 
"Ta, Seen, Meem.These are the verses of the clear Book. Perhaps, [O Muhammad], you would kill yourself with grief that they will not be believers. If We will, We could send down to them from the heaven a sign, to which they would bend their necks in humility. And no revelation comes to them anew from the Most Merciful except that they turn away from it."


The 'Allaamah 'Abdur-Rahmaan ibn Naasir As-Sa'dee (rahimahullaah) said:

"Al-Baaree (the Creator), The Exalted, is making an indication which proves the magnificence of the verses of the Clear, Evident, and Lucid Book, (magnificence) which proves all of the divine ordinances and the legislative objectives to the point that there does not remain - with the one who looks into it - any doubt or ambiguity regarding that which He informed with or adjudicated. This is due to its clarity and its indicating the most noble of affairs, linking the rulings with their adjudications, and connecting them to that which they are appropriate for. 

The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) would warn the people with it (the Qur`aan) and he would guide with it to the straight path. So the righteous servants of Allaah are guided by it and those for whom ignominy was decreed turn away from it. He would become extremely sad due to their lack of Eemaan out of diligence from himself and sincerity for them. Due to this, the Most High said (what means): Perhaps you would kill yourself (in grief)… 

Meaning: That you would destroy it and be hard upon it (yourself)...

(what means): That they are not believers.

Meaning: Don't do that (i.e. don't grieve yourself) and don't kill yourself over them in grief. For guidance is in Allaah's hand. You have discharged that which was upon your from conveyance (of the Truth). There is not, beyond this Clear Qur`aan, any (greater) sign for Us to send down in order that they may believe in. Indeed, it is sufficient and clear for the one who desires guidance. Due to this He said (what means): Had We willed We would have sent down a sign from the heavens… 

Meaning: Compelling signs.

(what means): So that they would have bent their necks... 

Meaning: The Necks of the deniers.

(what means): ...in humility to it. 

However, there is no need for that and there is no benefit in it. For indeed, at that time (i.e. when the compelling signs come), Eemaan will be of no benefit. The only Eemaan that is of benefit is the Eemaan in the Unseen. As Allaah has said (what means):Do they then wait for anything other than that the angels should come to them, or that your Lord should come, or that some of the Signs of your Lord should come (i.e. portents of the Hour e.g., arising of the sun from the west)! The day that some of the Signs of your Lord do come, no good will it do to a person to believe then. (Surah Al-An'aam 6: 158)." [For Imam as-Sa'dee's Tafseer of this particular ayah, click here]


* Tayseer Al-Kareem Ar-Rahmaan Fee Tafseer Kalaam An-Mannaan pgs. 559-560
Translated by: Aboo Moosaa Raha ibn Donald Batts, via http://mtws.posterous.com/ 

Sunday, August 19, 2012

We can't change the world but we can change our hearts


My mother just arrived from her catholic retreat and shared with me was all the shirky stuff she partook in. I still feel that knot in my throat when she expressed with so much articulation all this shirky stuff intentionally to hurt me. I really don’t know how to feel but Allah knows what is best. I will still pray for my family’s guidance and be more persistent than before.

It takes a lot to overlook so much stuff and today when I attended Eid prayer some things were just unbelievable. From now on I shall just look at my toe and engage in thinking of all my flaws and istigfar instead. We can’t change the world but we can change our hearts. Instead of feeling disappointed, which I tend to feel very often, I will use that energy to plead to Allah not to allow for my heart to become sealed and to keep me on the straight path. All this prompted me to think that these feelings I get is perhaps from a disease in my heart, like arrogance. Perhaps I am arrogant and think I am better than others that is why I constantly notice all these "weird" things. Although we should feel sad at seeing so much misguidance it should render us to look at our own condition and seek refuge in Allah not think how we are guided and they are not. We should also pray for their guidance because only Allah guides! The frustration and stress I feel from having to think of ways to advise them or how it can be changed is too much for me. Subhana’Allah!

For instance, there is this masjid that I love because it is upon the right manhaj (the imam at least and some people there) but I dislike going there because the majority of people there are dirty and bad mannered and the masjid is so dirty! I just cannot stand it. I can’t stand seeing the majority of women there are overweight whom have like five kids but all they do is eat and talk in the lounge. Their kids just run around littering the place. You best bet these women got niqabs and full on abayas. I don’t understand it makes me so depressed. I don’t know how many times I have contemplated ways of bettering the situation. The other day I felt like writing this note and telling them to fear Allah for littering and being dirty. Anyways, whatever. I won’t even get bothered by this! I should worry about my own soul!

On a brighter note, I am excited for next Ramadan! I am excited to continue to implement all the good habits I acquired during Ramadan and work towards my goal, Jannah! Yeey! I got many new books to read and can’t wait to read them! 

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Worship- We aught to love Allah!

At times "life" feels so unbearable and difficult. Then I remember that if it was not that Allah had granted me life I would have never known Allah or ever been able to strive to earn his grace. It is all worth it! But, when I think of Jahanum (hellfire), I wished I was a rock or an amoeba, I wish I was nothing!

It is only my nafs (desires, my self) that perceive life as difficult because if I seen this world for what it really is, transient, and endless opportunities to get closer to Allah, how can it be difficult? If a trial should befall me I should take that opportunity to get closer to Allah subhana wa ta'ala and know it is the best forms of purification for my soul. Nothing should befall me that is not meant for me and if it does out of my own earning, I deserve it. Even then If I bare it with patience, Allah will reward me and it will be a means for purification. how wonderful!

Anyhow, I have been a bit flustered about certain people particularly my coworker. He decided to "challenge" me again. I figured it is out of jealousy they don't have conviction as a Muslim do.He explained since he does not deem it necessary to follow everything God says in his bible he does not understand why Muslim believe we have to follow everything in the Qur'an. I responded that he is rightfully entitled to feel that way as indeed it would be impossible to follow everything in the bible due to being altered by man and not knowing what is from God but that this perspective did not apply to the Quran and Islam. Apparently  he still does not believe I have the right to think Islam is the truth and is not going to believe a word from me which, I hope would motivate him to stop talking to me.

He believes all religions are the same yet believe Catholicism (Christianity) is the truth. I don't get how that makes sense but what can one expect from one who thinks Muslims are an ethnic group therefore I am not Muslim but Islamic. According to him, I am a "scientist" so I should know better to believe the Quran is the literal word of God because scientifically the existence of God can not be proven. lol. Should I note that he does not believe he needs to read the Quran to know it is not from God. Anyways, I will no longer discuss this and hope not to. I only address this to show how ignorant these type of people are to the point they humiliate themselves without knowing. I know he feels awkward because of how he exposes his own flaw in his own belief which is a pretty touchy topic for many and so personal. I deal with the most weirdest of interactions. I would have an aneurysm if discussed all of them. May Allah protect me and guide me. This incident with my co-worker delineates so many lessons for me to ponder upon like worship, conviction and loving Allah that would benefit others and that is my intention.

This Ramadan has been so beautiful for me. It felt like a journey yet so short. I feel so saddened and nostalgic about its departing. I experienced lots of wonderful things, especially the growing certainty of the truth of Islam. I feel that as time goes by I to notice more attestations of the truth of Islam everywhere and iman establishes itself in my heart more so. The more I ponder the greatness of this religion, the less I feel amused by anything of this world. No other group of people do I know on the face of this earth, is willing to abandon comfort for the sake of Allah. Seeing the masses of people go to the masjid at 2-4am was so uplifting and emotional. I seen people pray so hard and people who one would only notice their lips move without cease with the remembrance of Allah! Who gives up their sleep, food, energy and desires for the sake of their religion? Lets not confuse this with monasticism. In Islam, we are all expected to do good and in doing so it is not necessary and even forbidden to live hermit like lives.

Which type of religion do its followers wake up in the middle of night to worship! Worship is something non-existent in other religions and the little "worship" they have is defined by man not by God. We were created to worship and although this statement may sound too crude to many let us remind ourselves of the beauty behind it. It is Allah's right upon his CREATION to be worshiped YET Allah is so MERCIFUL to reward and place benefit in it when we do. So while establishing Allah's right one indirectly benefits themselves. For instance, giving charity purifies our wealth and increases it. Even being grateful to Allah is a means for Allah to increase in us [14:7]. Dawud (Allayhi salam) said to Allah; how can I thank you enough when thanking you is in itself a blessing that is deserving of more thanks.

Should we not love Allah? if someone gave us a $1,000 everday just because without expecting nothing  in return, how would we feel towards this person? Would we not be grateful? I am sure we would even do extra gestures of kindness towards that person out of gratitude with out them asking for it and I am sure we would love that person very much. So why should we not love Allah? Therefore we should worship him because we AUGHT to love him! 

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Waiting for an Email from Allah?


Once my co-worker inquired me why Islam "encourages" terrorism along with other horrific injustices. I felt very annoyed but I addressed his mal-application of the information he receives. I explained the reality of such a crime (in our religion) and the punishment subscribed to those who transgress.I always assume people do not really believe this they just want to annoy us and make us leave our religion out of jealousy from themselves.

Several days before this, he would ask me what I do for the weekends or what I like to do for "fun." When I replied in the negative that I do not "party." He said he knew many "hijabis" who went to the clubs and drank alcohol. I did not believe him but hey I would not be surprised. I told him what they do is NOT a reason to believe others muslims are as lenient, ignorant and weak. Likewise, because of such individuals, it is no reason to believe our religion is irrational and excessive. It is possible to abstain from such things. He justified that since we all sin and are prone to sinning we should take more liberties because it is not "bad". I said because we should love and fear God and THERE IS ill consequences from them even if we dont perceive them. In addition, there is no benefit in them.  

Anyways due to him inquiring such things, I knew he was trying to plot something and Alhamdulillah I sensed it. He approached me again and asked why would God forbid us from things that are "natural" like fornication and eating pork. I said we obey the commands of God acknowledging he knows what is best for us. If God says it is harmful, it is. We do not need a doctor or a researcher to validate it. If its not "harmful" to the body then it is for our soul. I also stated that whatever Allah makes haram it is for the benefit of civilization. If there was no zina (fornication), the world would be a better place. All people would know who their fathers were and would have a family. There would be less orphans as a result of women not feeling adequate to do it "alone" or due to being abandoned by their "lovers," or feeling the guilt of society. There would be no rapes and no sexually transmitted diseases, less crime, no betrayal and broken families as a consequence. He said that is impossible to have in this society. I said it is NOT IF there was not shariah or law of God to deal with that. The purpose of the application of Islamic Shariah is to allow for Muslims to repent, benefit society at large and to gain righteousness.

Since this method of attack did not work on me. He opted for another tactic to show the "inconsistency" of Shariah. Apparently, he had heard of a woman who was raped by 5 "Muslims" and then stoned her for committing zina. I responded that if it was indeed true those men had to get the hadd punishment themselves and not the woman. I knew that I had to address the issue of the Hadd punishment of Zina and well I did. I said in order for the punishment to be applied it requires 4 witnesses of the actual act which is very difficult to come by and in most cases it is the Muslims who turn themselves in. No one can take matters into their own hands as it has to be done by an authority. Moreover, stoning is only for those who commit adultery (when married) and not just fornication. The reason for the witnesses is since our religion is about justice, one's word can not be accepted on mere claims, there has to be proof which what we see in the news is obviously not correct. 

After that affair was taking cared of, he tried to persuade me the validity all religions and that essentially they are all the same. Again, I disagreed. Now he resorted to even discredit his own beliefs just to make me leave mine. This man allegedly is a christian and a "believer" of God. He said that there is no real evidence God actually exists. I countered it by saying just because you can not have faith in your religion does not mean that you can approach Islam in that same manner and have such a perspective on it especially since you know nothing of the Qur'an or our prophet. Our religion does not have the same foundations of the beliefs as yours. I know God exists without a doubt because of the Qur'an. I believe that all the prophets existed because of the Qur'an. Without the Qur'an I can understand how someone would not believe God exists considering historians and researchers claim there is no real evidence that Jesus existed at all. I know the Quran is from Allah because I have pondered it and see its truth. No one has been able to prove it is NOT from God. All these years with so much antagonism against Islam no one has been able to disapprove it. They only mock us and this is expected from disbelievers and hypocrites. All this life, this universe, space, the sync of everything in this world, the fact everything is subjected to humans is a sign from Allah. I concluded to asking him What do you want God to send you an email or sign on a tree "Allah was here?!" What do you want as a sign? A dream perhaps and then soon after you would have perfect faith?    He did not say much after and said "Yeah okay as long as a religion promotes good. What is important is that one is "good." -_- (because he created himself and knows whats good right? LOL-sarcasm intended)

We NEED to understand that Allah's signs are befitting to him. We can NOT expect the signs of Allah to be like human signs. I dont understand why people expect such. Come on! think of the greatness of the Creator who created the universe. Think of the depth of space, think of the uniqueness of our solar system, think about what is life.

These same type of individuals justify that there is no God and he is not worthy of worship because of the so much suffering that exists on earth. They do not consider that perhaps many are victims of the evil of people who transgress against Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and his commandments. What befalls us is also what we have created for ourselves. If one does not pass their exam for not studying who is there to blame?

Also, not all trials are evil, but a means to purify us and make us better individuals. Take Ramadan for example, you dont percieve it but abstaning from food and water can make us very appreciative of our blessings and increase our taqwa in Allah. This "hardship" is good for us. Everyone has had a low point in their lives.If one reads any autobiography of any successful person you would notice how they emphasize their lowest of points in life and take much pride in surmounting them believing it made them better individuals. We MUST acknowledge that Allah knows what is best for us. This world is not everything. In reality it is nothing but a means for the REAL life. Only one who only focuses on this life magnify tribulations as unfortunate and "unfair." Those are the losers. 

I just felt it was important to share the story of my co-worker and his ineffective plot in order to highlight that whilst he thought himself very clever at the end victory is for Islam. Victory is always for Islam in truth because it is truth. We might not have it in this dunya physically but in truth we do. Islam is so beautiful and so complete. Only through Islam can one truly succeed and gain real wisdom. Its only through Islam one can gain an OPEN-MIND. Allah in the Qur'an encourages us to ponder so we should!

See all this signs all around us. Dont think that is part of "nature" for us to have water, for it to rain, for us to have fruits and vegetables. This is not by our own doing. We only use what we are provided with by Allah. A seed, we can sow it and take care of it properly but it might not grow.  Allah has power over all things  Free will is not equal to power lets not fool ourselves. The signs of Allah are much greater than of an email! Humble yourselves!

Strive for Some Iman

I spent the whole 23rd night of Ramadan awake and only slept 4 hours after I came back home after fajr. I thought I was going to sleep "hard core" (as that was  my plan as well :-/ and sleep until duhur but strangely I did not. I could not go back to sleep as I was not sleepy yet was feeling a lethargic. It made me very lazy and I then began to feel what I thought was "depressed." So, I just laid in bed for a LONG while thinking of how "sad" my life was. lol. Then I thought how I regret these type of days at the end of the day. Even more so for the reason that I ask Allah not to ever seal my heart and here I am not making an effort to get up and be spiritually productive. Laziness is a disease of the heart which can lead to low iman and if Allah wills a sealed heart. If we want something from this dunya we know it comes with effort why do we not apply this to our iman and our religion? If we want the Qur'an to be the light of our heart and the banisher of our distress why are we not picking up the Qur'an? We can't be like the Christians and the Jews who somehow expect to be inspired one day and then soon after become righteous. What is this thinking?! 


The great scholar ibn Sa’dee, may Allaah have mercy upon him, says, ‘The servant, Muslim, who has been granted the tawfeeq, does not cease from working towards two things:

  1. Fulfilling iman and its subsidiaries, and establishing it in speech, action and state.
  2. Striving to repel the apparent and hidden forms of fitan, which negate, invalidate or decrease eemaan.



Iman (faith) as known to Ahlus-Sunnah, is the statement upon the tongue, belief in the heart, and actions upon the limbs. Iman can not be achieved except by combining all of this. 

The Salaf (the first 3 generation of Muslims) May Allah be pleased and have mercy upon them, used
to tend to their iman, inspect their actions, and give each other advice. Reports of this nature from the Salaf are numerous:
-Umar Ibn al-Khattaab may Allah be pleased with him, used to say to his companions: “Come on, so that we may increase our Iman” 
-Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood, may Allah be pleased with him, used to say: “Sit with us, so that we may increase in Iman .” He used to say in his supplications: “O Allah increase me in Iman, certainty and understanding.” 
-Mu’aadh ibn Jabal, may Allah be pleased with him, used to say: “Sit with us, so that we may have Iman for an hour” 
-Abdullaah ibn Rawaahah, may Allah be pleased with him, used to take some of his companions by the hand and say: “Come on, so that we may have Iman for an hour. Come on, let us remember Allah so that we increase in Iman by obeying him; He may remember us by forgiving us:’ 
-Aboo Dardaa’, may Allah be pleased with him, used to say: “It is from the intelligence of the servant to know whether he is increasing or decreasing, and indeed, it is from the intelligence of the servant to know how, where and when the whispers of Shaytaan appear to him:
Excerpt from the Book: Causes behind the increase and decrease of Iman By Shaykh Abdur-Razzaak al-Abbaad)

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Lessons from a bad Wudu

I was just thinking how "funny" some things are today... One of them is the extremes some people go when making wudu (ablution for prayer). Everytime I make wudu whether it be while with some friends or at the masjid most give me a weird look. I think its because of how short my wudu is compared to theirs and dont appear as if I took ghusl at the sink.  Subhana'Allah some people take wudu to WHOLE another level to the extent they make some biddah and abandon the sunnah! For example, some sisters (I shall say sisters since I never witnessed men perform wudu but does not mean they are exempt),  waste so much water whilst making wudu. Some take off their socks to make wudu thinking perhaps it is more virtuous or some wash other parts of their body thinking it is mandated such as the neck (we are to wipe over the head up the NAPE of the neck not neck). Seems they have more khushoo during wudu than in salah take longer doing wudu than in salah. Strange and Ironic indeed! 

There is so much ignorance and I hope that if I am ignorant someone corrects me and or Allah increases me in knowledge and makes it apparent to me so that I may correct myself otherwise I am at loss. 


For three years, I used to say the takbir when I would rise from ruku and then say "sami allahu liman hamida..." and no one EVER corrected me. Often timesI would even lead the prayers! So I never paid much mind or researched if I prayed correctly, I assumed I did. I learned how to pray by myself so I think along the way I somehow developed the habit of doing takbir when doing transition in salah, it only seemed obvious and I think from then I just integrated it although that is not how I learned it (I went back and looked it up). Anyways, so one day while being with another sister who was not my friend just a new acquaintance, we arrived late for maghrib at the masjid. So we thought to pray it in congregation just her and I. I lead the prayer and after the prayer she corrected me Alhamdulillah. At first I was in doubt because no one corrected me before. I also assumed that even if I did not hear the imam or others say it was just "silent" don't know how I came to that conclusion :-/ When i asked my friends why they never corrected me they said they were too "shy."  


There are several lessons that can be learned from this: One when we stray away from the sunnah we waste so much energy, time, money, and deeds. We might not and will not recompensed for them. In my situation who knows if my prayers were valid :(  Two: The importance of always seeking knowledge and not being shy about seeking knowledge (esp ladies!) Three: Just because its sincere does not mean its correct or accepted. Four: seeking knowledge protects us from biddah-hellfire and all our time spent was not in vain. 
Think about how some people who commit a lot of biddah and shirk do so much extra stuff that causes hardship and also waste so much money doing all these worthless pilgrimages to shrines and stuff.Five: Care for the welfare of others (their souls) and do not be shy to correct them sincerely. It should not to be to prove you are more knowledgeable or to take opportunity to degrade them otherwise you wont get rewarded if you do. We should assist each other in righteousness. Where is the sisterhood and brotherhood?! I dont know, somewhere lost I guess

Okay back to the wudu thingy...Why are we so wasteful?! It really bothers me that people waste so much water especially for wudu because it is so paradoxical. Salah is success and we do wudu for success. Now if we are wasteful and Allah does not love those who are wasteful [6:141] 
and we take for granted a huge blessing from Allah, water, how will we attain success?! 

Anyways I always wanted to share a story of this one woman at my masjid that loves to correct others Masha'allah in an effort to emphasize the reality of this and very much aligns the above morals: Sincerity does not always equate correctness or validity. It highlights the importance of seeking knowledge in our deen and to surmount arrogance in our hearts to DOso. May Allah protect us from it Ameen. 


So this lady for years that I have been going to this masjid always wears this very sheer transparent dupatta for salah. I wont refer to the ruling of the feet but nonetheless its not correct to reveal the feet for prayer for women. Anyhow, taking into account it is Ramadan and taraweeh is virtuous and long, I thought she would not want all her deeds to be in vain. She prayed next to me and after Isha, I finally worked up the courage to tell her because I felt intimidated since she is an older "auntie." I first apologized for what I was going to say then I put my hand in her lap and told her discreetly that her prayer will NOT be accepted because her hijab is transparent. We were instructed by the prophet sallahu allayhi wa salam that our salah will not be accepted if we don't wear hijab and the conditions of it is that it must NOT be transparent. This is not an issue of dispute! I thought that she would go and fix it but she did not. After taraweeh, she had the audacity to rebuke all the mothers with children about her not being able to attain khushoo and wants her prayers to be accepted. Not sure what that was all about but it really saddened me. She also has this really bad habit of making sounds (of annoyance) when the imam messes up during this recitation,similar to like an ufff or something. May Allah guide her and us Ameen. 


Wiping over the socks: Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal recorded that Aws bin Abi Aws said, "I saw the Messenger of Allah perform Wudu' and wipe over his Khuffs. He then stood up for prayer.'' 


Hijab during Salah: The Prophet sallahu allayhi wa salam said: Allah does not accept the prayer of a woman who has reached puberty unless she wears a khimaar (hijab).


Wudu: Imam Ahmad recorded that Ibn `Abbas once performed Wudu' and took a handful of water and rinsed his mouth and nose with it. He took another handful of water and joined both hands and washed his face. He took another handful of water and washed his right hand, and another handful and washed his left hand with it. He next wiped his head. Next, he took a handful of water and sprinkled it on his right foot and washed it and took another handful of water and washed his left foot. When he finished, he said, "This is how I saw the Messenger of Allah (performing Wudu').'' Al-Bukhari also recorded it.

  1. Intention (in the heart)
  2. Saying Bismillah to commence wudu
  3. Wash Hands
  4. Mouth and Nose
  5. Face (up to ears)
  6. Forearms up to the elbows
  7. Wipe head and ears with wet hand (no need to do a Niagara falls demonstration)
  8. Wash feet (then can wipe over socks if were put on when in a state of purity-in wudu)

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Kinship is a trial from Allah!

I realized that I write too much about my feelings towards the state of kufr of my family. Well it is only plausible I would since I am Muslim and they are not and are very dear to me. I should reconsider to re-title my blog to "happy to be muslim but sad my parents are not." They are such a trial for me Subhana'Allah because I love them so much :( Everything I do in terms of worldly affairs I do so for them. If it is not haram and would please my parents I do it (9:113; 31:15). Today my mother cried and told me “I am from her.” Her cry is so painful for me. It is as if my soul within quivers and I feel my heart shrivel up.  I am bewildered at the case of some Muslims (esp reverts) that are indifferent about their parents dying upon kufr or not. In some cases while it seems “understandable” as to why they prefer to avoid them in order not to undergo maltreatment by them. What about having mercy for them?! I could care less if they shunned me I would persist in showing my love and affection towards them. Whats the worse that can happen to me if I do?Alhamdulillah, I was always very close to my parents and when I became Muslim my love for them increased as a result of me knowing their status and rights upon me. It is very upsetting to me when I witness or know of people especially Muslims who mistreat their parents. 
It is narrated that the Prophet sallahu allayhi wa salam said, “verily mercy will not descent on a people if there is one among them who severs family ties.” 
The prophet also said “one who severs family ties will never go to paradise.” 
Furthermore, Allah loves those who maintain family ties:
Ibn Umar said, “Those who are conscious of their lord and maintain family ties will have increase in their age and their wealth, and their family will love them.” 
Aisha said, the Prophet (sallahu allayhi wa salam) said, “kinship is a trial from Allah, whoever maintains its ties will have ties with Allah, and whoever severs those ties will have them severed by Allah.”
My youngest sister and I are always planning new ways to show our affection. We cook, give them gifts, plan “family days” and so much fun stuff. I make sure my mother does not lift a finger to do anything around the house when I go visit. My heart is so attached to them that if I go somewhere cool or experience something cool I cannot fully enjoy it without my parents or my family around. They really are my heart.
 There is an ayah in the Quran [66:6] “O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe.”

Now imagine that? How can one who has an atom’s worth of iman (and mercy) wish Jahanum (hellfire) for their family? Ya Allah I cannot even envision it and when I do I feel as if I could just collapse. Makes me wonder if they even believe in Jahanhum (which nullifies their Islam if they don’t) because otherwise, I cannot understand how they are not hasty in protecting them from it. Of course, only Allah guides but we need to take the means (asbab) to convey until we cannot (their death) and treat them to the best of our efforts.

My youngest sister is the one who is doing the hard core dawah to them now. I am the weak one. I cannot even tell my mom she is ignorant of the religion (of Islam) because I feel as if I degrade her (calling her ignorant). It pains me but I have to do it because I fear for her end. I cannot believe after 5 years she still has the same misconceptions of Muslims. FIVE YEARS!! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? I was surely pathetic then. All this time I was thinking her heart was opening to Islam and she did all these wonderful things for me by assisting me in my religion and now…What was all that then? … I don’t even know what to say. I was so in denial about my “progress.”

Did she just do it out of love whilst believing I was the worst of human beings? I guess that is it! Guess I don’t know what a mother’s love is capable of and how unconditional it is. If this is it, then it makes sense why some mothers are still so devoted to their children who commit atrocious crimes because of this “motherly love.”
I feel better now… I solved it! -_-

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Who loves Rasulullah (sallahu allayhi wa salam)?


Today I read a post a sister wrote describing how it was difficult for her to learn to love the Prophet sallahu allayhi wa salam and it really just made me want to cry. I could not believe that it would be difficult to love such a noble person. One of the things when coming into Islam reassured me this religion was legitimate was learning about the prophet (sallahu allayhi wa salam) and who he was. I needed to know who was conveying the message and immediately I knew he was no liar. This was despite his lifestyle being foreign to me yet I loved him more and more, the more I learned about him. The most amazing thing is that despite all the hate and crazy stuff out there by munafiqs (hypocrites) and kuffar (disbelievers) trying to denigrate him their efforts are in vain. Allahu Akbar! It was through telling narrations about him (hadiths) to my youngest sister that she also embraced Islam. Anyways, the point is… well… I just cannot believe how someone cannot love him or it be difficult. Makes me think of how many Muslims are in her situation. Believing islam is the truth is the easy part, being a muslim means following the sunnah and for many of us this is more difficult to establish. At the end of the day how much you care about the Sunnah reveals how much you really love Rasulullah (sallahu allayhi wa salam) and what kind of Muslim you really are.

Some time ago, when my mother went to visit my brother, she commented how he had a huge beard and made a sour gesture describing it was a fistful! She thought he looked like a “hindu” -_- Whatsup with my mom calling muslims hindus?! She calls all middle eastern, Arab, Muslim, Indian people hindu. It needs to STOP! Ya Allah! Anyways, I was elated and could only envision how he looked. Ahh! I wish I seen how he looked so that I could of at least imagine him being Muslim.  May Allah guide him.

Okay so, I have no idea how to make dawah. I am so over trying to make indirect “dawah” to my family with my “good character” or “good behavior” towards them.  I need to get serious and I just don’t know how.  I am thinking of writing a letter to my mother and brother. They need to know about the Prophet of Allah, Muhammad (sallahu allayhi wa salam). Believing in Allah is not sufficient. Even the mushrik believe in Allah. I don’t know how to convey the whole message of Islam without neglecting the messenger which is big mistake many people do when making dawah Whenever I try to they laugh at the mere strangeness of the name of "Muhammed." So arrogant they are subhana’Allah! (side note: Funny how many muslims love to reiterate by MEMORY lol what yusuf Estes or Dr. Zakir Naik say-this is so annoying ya Allah! lol they just go on about compartive religion without never really conveying Islam uggh!).

Yesterday, my friend came over and we had iftar together. Of course, we talked about marriage we’re women!  We discussed that what really beautifies a person is their honor (Al-izzah) in Islam and that is the sunnah of Rasulullah (sallahu Allayhi wa salam). This beauty is transcendental and everlasting (until the akhirah) only downside is that many who appear to be that way neglect the other part of the sunnah of being real men and proactive about having an honorable livelihood. How can we ever expect to be leaders if we are constantly working under the kuffar? The point is that what is also troubling is that many of our brothers who appear as such, love themselves some kuffar women. I joked that the only way to find a “righteous man” is to act and look like a kafir “interested” on someone making dawah to us. (*By the way, what is up with Muslims being so enthusiastic about making dawah to the opposite gender? I don’t get it! Not sure when it became permissible. I guess I did not get a memo!) Then we wonder why so many of our sisters take off hijab and act so indecent because they have to “compete” with such women. Who wants those type of men anyways?!

We decorate ourselves with the Sunnah and exploit it. So I suppose I should not be so saddened by the reality of how it is possible for someone to find it difficult to love the prophet when our ummah is diseased with being confused about the sunnah of Rasulullah itsself and then neglecting it. May Allah increase our love for his messenger and guide us Ameen.
Sahl bin Abdullah said, "Stick to the narration and the sunnah for I fear that a time will come when the Prophet (sallahu allayhi wa salam and the importance of following him in everything is mentioned, the people would censure the person who says this, cause others to flee from him, dissaociate themselves from him, humiliate him and disgrace him.  (fath al-majid sharh kitab at tawheed p.24)

This video below always makes me cry. Hope it softens your hearts and increase the love for our beloved messenger ameen! 



Thursday, August 2, 2012

When one knows Allah... how can one be sad?


I am always in the mood to WANT to be sad and to succumb to this emotion. It is only recently I have begun to become more aware of this tendency of mine. It usually occurs a when I am in solitude with my thoughts, when not doing dhikr! I count my trials and not my blessings. I don’t like it because it makes me feel bitter and ungrateful. The biggest blessing that should be reason enough for me to ALWAYS be happy is knowing that because Allah preferred me I am a muslim. In addition, it is of great importance to know that ones trials could be; from one’s own doing (what we deserve and have earned), or from Allah which, are never more than we can bear and Allah has equipped us for. Allah is not an oppressor and is the most just so we should be careful of how we think of Allah! In either case the best solution is to just be patient, trust in Allah and take the means to surmount them. 

Being a revert comes with lots of challenges and although one would have assumed by now I should have become conditioned to them, ironically I really never experienced them until now. I always had support of those who mattered and although I did go through minor ones never like the one I am going through now. It is very strange and I am a bewildered by this. Due to the fact that it is Ramadan, I am too busy to invest much heart, emotion or energy on this tribulation I am going through.  Alhamdulillah, what a perfect time this trial came when my iman is “charging” and has yet to inflict it.  

I know it will get much more difficult and I have to accept it, be grateful and remain steadfast because it is out of my control. I noticed some beautiful things happen in midst the fog of this tremendous trial and it has certainly brought lots of happiness to my heart.  

Being sad over matters of one’s life that one has no control of is dangerous, a sign of ungratefulness and nifaq(hypocrisy). The more I pondered why I felt or wanted to feel sad I realized how true this was. One can argue that I have the right to feel sad but in reality I don’t.

I cannot emphasize or implore enough the importance of learning who is Allah by seeking nearness through knowing his names, establishing tawheed and holding onto the authentic sunnah of Rasulullah (sallahu allayhi wa salam)! Only those who do, have the best guidance, a way out of any difficulty and out of depression [20:124-126].

When you know Allah, you know Allah is Al-Hafeedh [42:6], The one who is ever mindful and constantly on guard,who protects and preserves what he created. Knowing this how can one ever feel alone and forsaken?  Allah is Ash-Shaheed [3:98], the one who is aware of everything and Al-Qareeb, the one who is close to his servants [2:186] and is Al-Azeez, the MIGHTY the one capable of doing anything and is omnipotent over everything that is in existence. The whole of creation is subject and indebted to him. Allah is Al-Qaadir, capable of doing anything he wills and possess all power [6:65]! Now how can one NOT seek the help of Allah?!  Surely this should be a comfort for all Muslims for indeed this brings ME comfort. Honestly, there is no reason to be sad. I grieve but that is all... it is okay.

[2:153] “Oh you who believe! Seek assistance through patience and prayer; surely Allah is with the patient.”

[3:146-148] “…but they never lost heart for that which did befall them in Allah’s way, nor did they weaken nor degrade themselves. And Allah loves As-sabirun (the patient). They said nothing but: Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and our transgressions, establish our feet firmly, and give us victory over the disbelieving folk. So Allah gave  them the reward of this world, and the excellent reward of the hereafter. And Allah loves Al Muhsinun (those who do good).”

[8:46] “…surely Allah is with the patient.”

[11: 11] “Except those who are patient and do good, they shall have forgiveness and a great reward.”

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Stuff!...-_-

On Sunday my family visited and I wore my abaya. I normally do not wear an abaya when I am with them except in some occasions. My mother has expressed to  me that she does not like it much as I look like a "grandma" and that I can still be modest without looking assuch. There is some truth but "hey!" it covers me well and I feel secure because it is one less sin I have to worry about.

Anyhow, I had to be creative on how I approached this and being a revert sort of requires that. while walking, a breeze blew to which I quickly tried to prevent it from exposing me. My mother noticed and chuckled commenting on the irony of how immodest she was dressed and is my mother. I humored her and just commented how indeed that was ironic to which my other sister commented on as well. We all laughed. Alhamdulillah! It felt nice and  it took the awkwardness/tension I was feeling because I knew she feels a bit embarrassed when I dress in such a manner. I always feel like a burden and it just makes me feel horrible. I really wish I could tell them how I don't desire to make them uncomfortable but I also dont want to forsake my soul. 


Alhamdulillah this is all a trial for me and I just have to find a way to surmount it. I have to accept that no matter what Allah guides whom he wills and I don't have to compromise just for the sake of thinking it will be the best method to attract them to Islam.


Also this weekend I attended a seminar in which the daa'ee said some weird stuff that I felt like throwing my shoe (mentally :-/ ). I could not believe this man just stated his opinion not fearing that he could misguide others and become accountable for their sins especially when its something that is of doubt. I dont know! made me think of how we will continue to be the most humiliated of people because we sell our religion just to be liked and to appease others. I dont know, only Allah knows whats up with the dude but I just pray that Allah rectifies our affairs and guides us because as an ummah we are a failure in all aspects.


Somehow the news of the daa'ee errors got around and I seen it on facebook. This sister blasted him and at no moment did she mention for Allah to guide him. I mean seriously? I know the dude did some BIG error but I dont think I am qualified to even say his aqeedah might be flawed. I believe he knew he just wanted to  make an excuse for himself as it was apparent he was guilty of what they inquired him ( I think I heard him stutter :-/


What bothers me about this is these individuals who are like hardcore into the online dawah  have probably read some books from major scholars and now they feel they are guided and have the qualifications to make fatwas as if they were mujtahids or something. Maybe I am wrong and this is how they only appear but yeah I feel annoyed nonetheless.They get in online arguments all the time to a point that they get emotional and they always seem to be online ALL THE TIME. Like it makes me wonder if they really even do such reading or attend any lectures or interact with REAL people subhana'Allah. In addition, they seem to be awake very late. I always wonder if they not fear to miss fajr or is fajr like not that big of a deal where being groggy and semi awake okay?! I really just wonder. 


I feel a bit flustered about all these things. They stress me out. I stress about my family, I stress about the "looserness" of our Ummah and the lack of real sisterhood (or brotherhood). I wish I could just have a sister to call/visit and just discuss some stuff I learne or read and just talk about our favorite scholars their works and such and just exchange ilm. I have my sister alhamdulillah. I have tried to befriend some other sisters and tried to do this but it just does not happen as I desire. This sister once just stared at me to a point where I actually stopped talking and could not think of anything to say but comment on how stoic she seemed. I know it sounds weird and I can not believe I said such but yeah... it was a really awkward conversation.