In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate

In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate
Al-Quran (30:30)

So direct your face toward the religion, inclining to truth. [Adhere to] the fitrah of Allah upon which He has created [all] people. No change should there be in the creation of Allah. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know.

فَأَقِمْ وَجْهَكَ لِلدِّينِ حَنِيفًا فِطْرَةَ اللَّهِ الَّتِي فَطَرَ النَّاسَ عَلَيْهَا لَا تَبْدِيلَ لِخَلْقِ اللَّهِ ذَلِكَ الدِّينُ الْقَيِّمُ وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ
[Al-Imran 3:8] "[Who say], "Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestower."

Sunday, January 22, 2012

The Shahadah

Yesterday after Jumuah, a sister did her shahadah. Naturally, I felt very happy and happy for her because it is always an indication of Allah's mercy and Islam’s greatness but for a slight moment I felt awkward.

Personally, I have always been annoyed by the question of how I came to Islam by total strangers. Somehow they expect me to expel such a personal journey in 30 seconds. Then when I do they don’t pay attention, interrupt me and then walk away after the delivery. Most of them never even introduce themselves or do I ever see them again. It is only recently I have begun to express this when inquired. So I will withhold telling them “where I am from,” which I also find so irritating. As if being encircled by a bunch of women whom you don’t know was not enough  and then having to do the whole hugging and kissing routine 3 times -_- (dont know where that came from definitely not from Islam) …. it can be very overwhelming.

I had the benefit of taking  my shahadah in a small gathering with 3 of my lady friends, the sheikh and my older sister. Alhamdulillah I was spared of this overwhelming and awkward situation. I think it needs to be addressed! I am sure there are etiquettes on how to congratulate new Muslims. I shall gather some information and post it when I do BITNI’ILLAH (with Allah’s permission).

I am sure she got bombarded with all sorts of questions. Once the crowd encircling her subsided, I went over to introduce myself and congratulate her. She was a “mature” woman and had a very "down to earth" demeanor. I was relieved to see her very calm. I hesitated on asking her any questions but I did anyhow. I inquired her about the length of her “quest” to which she replied, “a long long time that recently became more intense.”

Although, I have been in their situation (new revert) before, I don’t know how exactly to relate anymore. Sometimes I forget I am a revert myself and dont convey it. When I took my shahadah, I kept thinking how I did not feel any different and wondered why I did not. For some individuals they do begin to doubt and feel perhaps it is a mistake. Of course these are whispers of shaytan.

If I knew then what I know now (have more islamic knowledge), I would have been totally ecstatic crying out of joy but I was not. Witnessing a shahadah for me is quite profound now for many reason but mainly because I revisit my own.

I think humans inherently magnify things more than they ought to especially if these events are perceived to be pivotal in one’s life. For instance, when I first started college, all I could do was look forward to graduation. When I finally did graduate, I realized it was not a big deal or at least I did not feel as ecstatic as I HOPE I would. I was like “this is it? Is this what I was waiting for all along?” I felt disappointed and soon graduation was so overrated for me. I don’t even know why I bought so much stuff for that day.  

The same I guess can be applied to marriage. Apparently from what I have heard it is not all that great as we, singles make it out to be. I guess hurray for the single life right? Not!   ;-p

So because you don’t feel overjoyed as you think you should, it does not signify its NOT special. It’s necessary to note that these doubts have no real rationale behind them. Just random emotions and shaytan.

 In that moment you don’t know the magnitude of your decision and how it will be the best one you will have ever done in the entirety of your life. I only KNOW and FEEL this now...