In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate

In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate
Al-Quran (30:30)

So direct your face toward the religion, inclining to truth. [Adhere to] the fitrah of Allah upon which He has created [all] people. No change should there be in the creation of Allah. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know.

فَأَقِمْ وَجْهَكَ لِلدِّينِ حَنِيفًا فِطْرَةَ اللَّهِ الَّتِي فَطَرَ النَّاسَ عَلَيْهَا لَا تَبْدِيلَ لِخَلْقِ اللَّهِ ذَلِكَ الدِّينُ الْقَيِّمُ وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ
[Al-Imran 3:8] "[Who say], "Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestower."

Sunday, March 25, 2012

My Heart, My family

I think my emotions and feelings about the state of kufr of my family varies. Sometimes I feel so frustrated that imagine going bezerks and crying telling them to accept Islam now. In another extreme, I guess in an attempt to prepare myself mentally and emotionally, I imagine learning of their passing as disbelievers. Yesterday, I imagined the later one. My nephew got baptized and they were delighted and saying all this shirky stuff that I literally felt my blood pressure go down. I sat their listening to what they said and in that moment I felt numb.

Allah knows what is in their hearts. They don't even attempt to learn about Islam or want to hear what I believe so for the sake of peace I do not say much but rather express my dislike of certain things and try to be as helpful and good towards them. As a result, I have learned to discipline myself because I watch my speech and action. Nonetheless, I often wonder how it can be that they not care to improve their status with God or learn if they are rightly guided? This was my reaction upon learning of the Qur'an existence that lured me to keep learning about Islam. 

I just can not wrap my brain and heart around this. Every night before going to sleep they are my last thought.  I fear for myself and am a Muslim. I fear returning to disbelief and my heart hardening. Now, how can I not fear for the people that are so beloved to me in this world? The only thing that gives me any relief is knowing that even the best of human being, Rasulullah's (sallahu allayhi wa salam) mother was a kafir. So who am I to say that I deserve any better. Still I do not believe that should desist in asking for their guidance or loosing hope because Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) can do all things. 

This is a beautiful hadith . It is reported that once a man came to Rasulullah (sallahu allayhi wa salam) and said, "O prophet of Allah, where is my father? The prophet replied, "in hell." The man turned his back and the Prophet sallahu allayhi wa salam called him back and said to thim, "both my father and yours are in hell. [sahih Muslim]"
The prophet (sallahu allayhi wa salam) out of mercy comforted that man who probably out of grief  had began to walk away. It is such a beautiful hadith and in reading it I feel the comfort that Rasulullah gave to this man Alhamdulillah <3 :)

Friday, March 16, 2012

Only Allah guides! :)

In this world I will never be free of stress or ever be truly happy. This is only in Jannah! Recently, I have been undergoing a lot of stress and I feel inclined to be impatient. I know that nobody in this world can remove my distress but Allah and no one can bring contentment in my heart but Allah. Patience pleases Allah and for me it makes all these trials seem like a walk in the park. There is a lot I have to think about but I always try to seek advice on how to approach any difficulty or matter in my life which makes the whole situation less unpleasant.  The best counselors I have are my parents. Subhana’Allah I am amazed how my mother comforts me at the most difficult of situations. She is able to just see the whole situation and “break it down” for me where it does not seem as immense as I had made it out to be.  I believe it is a trick from Shaitan that he exaggerates problems more than they really are in order to make us feel hopeless and as a result loose our iman.

Ironically, as I was feeling better and more at ease I began to stress and feel the anxiety of my mother being a non-Muslim and felt hopeless about that.  I felt so hopeless I cried and still feel the remamnts of my emotional episode right now.  I sometimes try to envision how I will react and try to somehow mentally prepare myself for the worse and I think I would just die out of angsts.  I called my little sister and this time it was her that comforted me with her words and reminded me of Allah’s mercy and guidance.  My mother to me is the kindest, gentlest individual I know. Of course she is my mother and I believe this but I also observe her demeanor in comparison to other mothers.  From all her sister, she is the humblest and most modest. Subhana’allah it was as if she was made just for me(as my mother). It was because of my upbringing that is was so easy for my heart to accept Islam. I sometimes wonder if she has already but it just ignorant. There are so many clues that interpret to reassure me that there is hope. 

Today I came across this video of a 85 year old man who accepted Islam. It made me so happy because it reminded and gave me hope that Allah is who guides and continue to implore him for his mercy on my parents.