In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate

In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate
Al-Quran (30:30)

So direct your face toward the religion, inclining to truth. [Adhere to] the fitrah of Allah upon which He has created [all] people. No change should there be in the creation of Allah. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know.

فَأَقِمْ وَجْهَكَ لِلدِّينِ حَنِيفًا فِطْرَةَ اللَّهِ الَّتِي فَطَرَ النَّاسَ عَلَيْهَا لَا تَبْدِيلَ لِخَلْقِ اللَّهِ ذَلِكَ الدِّينُ الْقَيِّمُ وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ
[Al-Imran 3:8] "[Who say], "Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestower."

Monday, May 14, 2012

Get Islam not a Lotto!

When I focus on the uncertainty of my future, I feel unhappiest. I feel as if everything caves in and am the most miserable and unfortunate person on earth. I forget how blessed I am and become so ungrateful. It is as if I forget that my only responsibility is to just take the necessary steps towards my goals and Allah will do the rest. My impatience is such a trial for me subhana’Allah. May Allah guide me. I even began to count my deeds as if they were investments for this dunya. How disgusting : (  The only thing I am grateful during these periods of grief is that salah never misses me and never overburdens.  I hope it’s because Allah has not yet sealed my heart and loves me. I know that there will always be hope for those that want it and I know I sure do! Otherwise I am doomed. May Allah forgive me for thinking like a kafir (non-believer) and a munafiq (hypocrite). 

Earlier today I saw a girl crying and although I felt just as miserable as her, my heart was sound. It’s difficult to explain because in that moment I pitied her because she did not know Allah and her only refuge was in this deceitful dunya. Yet I was still in my ungrateful mode. 

Then later that day after salah al-Asr, a thought came to me and I inquired my self, ‘why I prayed?’ and the answer to that was because I want to be beloved to Allah, the lord of the worlds!! The fact that my purpose of my existence is to worship Allah makes life bearable.I could never fail in life if I strive to get close to Allah  as opposed to striving for this dunya failure will always linger.

How many people strive to be rich in this world and never become rich or how many do become rich but loose it all? The other day at my internship one of my coworkers had a lotto ticket in his t-shirt pocket. I noticed it and I wondered if he knew it was visible. I felt sort of embarrassed for him because for me I felt it exposed his vulnerability, his attachment to this world. The odds of him becoming rich are so slight that he has a better chance of getting a Nobel Peace Prize in Physics than winning the lotto! I laughed to myself and I pitied him as well. Funny, how i pity everyone except myself :-/ I'm a hypocrite y'all thats why.  

The point is that when we know what our purpose is in this world and we seek to fulfill it we are happy and content. Instead of striving for riches or things of this dunya ask Allah to grant you contentment in all you are provided by from Allah. We should be thankful for everything we have and if affliction befalls us be patient perhaps it was from our own doing (i.e. sins) or from Allah. In either case we have to be patient and seek or rizq (provision) from Allah.

I often feel like a failure and this really gets me down. I wish I was so many things and according to my oldself I should have hit several milestones in my life by now. It really depresses me because no matter how much I try I fail and then I realized that I could never fail t in getting close to Allah or fail in not earning Jannah if I try. How wonderful is that?!. I have Allah and I am a Muslim! What else do I need?! Nada!  Maybe I should send my coworker a memo of his likelihood (statistically) winning the lottery. lol.