In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate

In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate
Al-Quran (30:30)

So direct your face toward the religion, inclining to truth. [Adhere to] the fitrah of Allah upon which He has created [all] people. No change should there be in the creation of Allah. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know.

فَأَقِمْ وَجْهَكَ لِلدِّينِ حَنِيفًا فِطْرَةَ اللَّهِ الَّتِي فَطَرَ النَّاسَ عَلَيْهَا لَا تَبْدِيلَ لِخَلْقِ اللَّهِ ذَلِكَ الدِّينُ الْقَيِّمُ وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ
[Al-Imran 3:8] "[Who say], "Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestower."

Sunday, August 19, 2012

We can't change the world but we can change our hearts

My mother just arrived from her catholic retreat and shared with me was all the shirky stuff she partook in. I still feel that knot in my throat when she expressed with so much articulation all this shirky stuff intentionally to hurt me. I really don’t know how to feel but Allah knows what is best. I will still pray for my family’s guidance and be more persistent than before.

It takes a lot to overlook so much stuff and today when I attended Eid prayer some things were just unbelievable. From now on I shall just look at my toe and engage in thinking of all my flaws and istigfar instead. We can’t change the world but we can change our hearts. Instead of feeling disappointed, which I tend to feel very often, I will use that energy to plead to Allah not to allow for my heart to become sealed and to keep me on the straight path. All this prompted me to think that these feelings I get is perhaps from a disease in my heart, like arrogance. Perhaps I am arrogant and think I am better than others that is why I constantly notice all these "weird" things. Although we should feel sad at seeing so much misguidance it should render us to look at our own condition and seek refuge in Allah not think how we are guided and they are not. We should also pray for their guidance because only Allah guides! The frustration and stress I feel from having to think of ways to advise them or how it can be changed is too much for me. Subhana’Allah!

For instance, there is this masjid that I love because it is upon the right manhaj (the imam at least and some people there) but I dislike going there because the majority of people there are dirty and bad mannered and the masjid is so dirty! I just cannot stand it. I can’t stand seeing the majority of women there are overweight whom have like five kids but all they do is eat and talk in the lounge. Their kids just run around littering the place. You best bet these women got niqabs and full on abayas. I don’t understand it makes me so depressed. I don’t know how many times I have contemplated ways of bettering the situation. The other day I felt like writing this note and telling them to fear Allah for littering and being dirty. Anyways, whatever. I won’t even get bothered by this! I should worry about my own soul!

On a brighter note, I am excited for next Ramadan! I am excited to continue to implement all the good habits I acquired during Ramadan and work towards my goal, Jannah! Yeey! I got many new books to read and can’t wait to read them!