In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate

In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate
Al-Quran (30:30)

So direct your face toward the religion, inclining to truth. [Adhere to] the fitrah of Allah upon which He has created [all] people. No change should there be in the creation of Allah. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know.

فَأَقِمْ وَجْهَكَ لِلدِّينِ حَنِيفًا فِطْرَةَ اللَّهِ الَّتِي فَطَرَ النَّاسَ عَلَيْهَا لَا تَبْدِيلَ لِخَلْقِ اللَّهِ ذَلِكَ الدِّينُ الْقَيِّمُ وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ
[Al-Imran 3:8] "[Who say], "Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestower."


Sunday, September 30, 2012

Feeling Bitter

Sometimes I feel that being a convert is an excuse for me to feel a bit bitter about life.  This is a very dangerous path to tread on. I first started to blog because I wanted to express that what makes me truly happy is Islam despite what everyone advertises. It is not common to hear other Muslims express joy from being Muslim. Instead we often hear Muslims being apologetic and trying conform with the kuffar. Its annoying!

Its difficult to deal with things that accompany  embracing Islam and entering the true Religion of Allah! That is expected! Life is hard period! The only difference is that a Muslim knows the reality of this life and its purpose while others don't. Those are as they appear; distracted. With their earphones  trying arduously to block out reality and flood their minds with noise in order not to face it.  The other day I thought of how I supposedly have not got much relief from my "trials." I only express this to show how disgusting it is to think this way and perhaps will deter someone from doing so.

I caught myself and Alhamdulillah began to ponder how disgusting it was to think this way; being ungrateful and thinking I know what is best for me than Allah. I feel as if at any moment Allah will destroy me for thinking such. I fear that my heart may be becoming sealed and there are so many clues to that being the case. If there is anything I HATE it is returning to kufr.

In addition, being a convert weighs heavily when I think about my future. Its difficult to envision anything when I see the obstacles now and don't know how to surmount them all on my own. So it only causes me to be a bit pessimistic and bitter. I should not be feeling bitter if I know this world is not lasting and my goal is jannah! What is it with me? I need to stop looking at how kafirs and munafiqs got it made in this life but not me. Honestly I got a very easy life and even if I did not I should not measure their dunya success with REAL SUCCESS, ISLAM!  This is a "I wish  I was dust" moment! I write this because I want to have this conversation with myself and reflect upon true success and to encourage myself to continue to strive to be beloved to Allah.I feel so defeated and my heart feels shattered for being such a loser! I hate myself for being so heedless. Life is hard and will always be. WE ALL just need to remain hopeful in Allah's mercy, fear his anger and strive for his pleasure. That is what life is all about, A GOOD LIFE THAT IS! 

Monday, September 17, 2012

Advice from Sheikh Fawzan regarding blasphemous film

Published on 16 Sep 2012 by DaarusSunnahShaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan – Translated by Raha Batts

Question: “O Eminent Shaykh, may Allah grant you Tawfeeq, there are many questions as to what is your advice to the students of knowledge and other than them regarding that which has happened recently regarding the derogatory film about the Prophet, what is the advice of your Eminence regarding that?”

Answer: Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan [Hafidhahullah]: "Our advice regarding that is to have comportment and not to show disapproval in this manner; demonstrations or harming innocent people, and wasting wealth, this is not permissible. Those who must respond to this are the scholars, not the common folk. The scholars respond to these affairs. They (i.e. the Kuffaar) want to cause chaos amongst us and they wish to affect us; this is what they want. They want us to fight one another. The soldiers withold while these people attack; and there occurs beating, killing, and injury. This is what they want. Calm down, calm down. Those who are responsible for responding are the people of knowledge and insight. Or they could chose not to respond to them and resolve not to respond. The pagans used to call the Messenger a magician, a soothysayer, a liar etc. and Allaah commanded him to have patience. They did not protest in Makkah nor did they destroy any of the homes of the pagans nor did they kill anyone. Patience and comportment until Allaah the Glorified and High facilitates a way for the Muslims.

That which is obligatory is to have comportment; especially in these times and in these tribulations and within this evil today which is going on within the lands of the Muslims.  It is obligatory to have comportment and not rush into these affairs; and the commoners are not fit to deal with this, for the ignorant do not know. None should deal with this except the people of knowledge and insight.”

Translated By: Raha Batts [Hafidhahullah].http://mtws.posterous.com/shaykh-fawzaans-comments-on-the-recent-deroga

Sunday, September 16, 2012

The Cause of Humiliation

It is so important for me to be self sufficient right now. I hate thinking of my reality and my inability to be completely independent. I wonder at times whether it is a reality I have created for myself due to not trying my best, a trial or even a punishment. Yesterday, I felt totally humiliated! I mean, being in this state sort of calls for many moments of  humiliation. It comes with the package of being dependent I suppose. Anyways, I reflected on it and I realized that in this world if we are dependent it causes us much humiliation but when we are dependent upon Allah we become self-sufficient and as a result we become independent from others and spares us much humilation. Which brings me to the topic of  Tawakkul. A person that has tawakkul is one that has good manners with Allah. That is, they think well of Allah and know his greatness.

When we seek the provision of Allah ironically, we do so by disobeying him. Its is the strangest thing! For me, I hate having to compromise my modesty in order not to "offend" anyone. It makes me feel so horrible. I hate having to wear pants, I hate having to shorten my hijab, I hate having to sit among people that all they do is talk about television trash. I hate the mindless dunya talk. Subhana'Allah I hate it all! Yet I have to allow it to exist in my world because I do not have to means to avoid it. With the little dunya garbage I knew I participated in order not to seem prude. It was painful. Felt like the worse munafiq! I hate it so much! Pretty much that sums up what yesterday consisted of. It left my heart and soul feeling wounded and woke up with a heart-burn like feeling this morning. If I had tawwakkul then perhaps I would not resort to having to believe I do not have the means to avoid it.

It is unbelievable how people CAN take pleasure in compromising their deen. They even see it as an excuse to commit MORE haram because they can not "escape" it allegedly. I HATE in my heart and with all my body so much! For example, many reason that "Islamic nasheeds (even those that have instruments) are permissible because it is a "better" alternative to the other material out there. Or That Islamic Nasheeds are good because they remind people of Allah. Yeah sure they do! They remind them how to disobey Allah in the most insulting of manners!

To conclude, one who disregards Allah will experience the worse of humiliation! Not only in this life but in the next! When one compromises their Deen and does not know or believe in the Greatness of Allah they  have only set themselves to be humiliated. I hope that Allah takes me away from this situation soon and in the meantime I have to STRIVE to get out of the situation and change it! We must also hate it in our hearts! How can we expect the grace of Allah if we love what he hates? I dont know whether I should feel safe from my heart become sealed because at least I hate it. I shall spend today on rehabilitation mode uggh!


Boredom and its consequences

Ramadan left a sweet memory that I have been striving to re-experience with consistency and love.  I loved the melody of silence in my heart and mind. I loved the stillness of time when fasting. I loved the echo of my heart in my duas (supplications) and the intimacy of the night while in prayer. It was such a beautiful feeling I have never felt before in my life. I would hate if I never experience it again and it was my only time I will ever have such a personal Ramadan. I don’t know what awaits me in the next year or if I will exist on this earth then!

Unfortunately, I feel noise slowly introducing itself to my peace which has had an impact on my khushoo and subsequently my life. I feels the effects of it physically, on my emotions and mental clarity. I have been thinking much of my time and trying to preoccupy myself with things that DO concern me and benefit me.

The Key I have found out is to AVOID being "BORED." The other day I was “bored” and “googled” something that apparently is the new trend that I did not know much about. I had not checked it out sooner as I honestly did not have the time to care enough to remember to. It ended up costing me 3 days of unproductivity! The lack of peace in my mind due to a mass collection of things that DO NOT concern me caused my  khushoo and the quality of my salah to suffer.  My sleep obviously was affected and my fajr prayer became poor.  The guilt made me depressed and I soon embarked a horrible cycle of guilt, unproductivity, low iman, depression and boredom!

Its only now that before I go to bed that I began to reflect that I know how to stop this cycle. That is to busy oneself with things that DO concern one and AVOID BOREDOM! NO ONE can afford to be bored!

HOW can I be bored?! Only a Kafir gets bored, only one who does not believe in the last day gets bored. Only one who does not want jannah gets bored! Subhana’Allah. Often times we confuse relaxation with entailing the wasting of time. Once we allow our minds to become idle, that is to be filled with things that DO NOT concern us, it is then we open the doors to Shaytan, our destruction.  What concerns us is Islam! What concerns us is how to earn Jannah and please our Creator! Everything is so trivial and such an easy trial to surmount if we were and are objective of our purpose!